We all dream about success, but are we ready to confront the realities that come with building a career?
In this article, Carolin Desirée Toepfer, CEO of Cyttraction and a leading tech entrepreneur in B2B solutions in the field of cyber security, shares the hard-won lessons from her demanding yet rewarding journey. She distills these experiences into seven unfiltered truths that may sting a little but are tested, trusted, and deeply applicable.
If you're looking to take charge of your career, these insights will serve as a better guide than any career workbook.
1. brutal honesty and strategic planning are essential
"You can’t build anything on the imagination of how you would love the world to be, but you can achieve a lot when knowing how to deal with what you got."
A little delusion helps when chasing a dream—you have to see yourself somewhere before you get there. But imagination alone won’t cut it. You must also face reality. Ask yourself: What skills do I have? What skills do I need to advance? What am I actually good at?
Carolin shares that, at this stage, discipline, networking, and taking on unpopular jobs were key. She took time to reflect and come to terms with the steps she needed to take to get better. By doing the same, you create space for strategic planning, which fuels your career growth.
2. cross-competency is the secret to career longevity
Being great at one thing might get you noticed, but cross-competency keeps you in the game. The more skills you integrate into your professional profile, the harder you are to replace. As Carolin puts it: "If you're only good at one thing, you're likely to lose your job before you retire."
The easiest way to build cross-competency is to expand around your strengths. Not only does this make you more adaptable, but it also opens new doors. Relying on a single skill can keep you living paycheck to paycheck, making success harder than it seems. As Carolin explains: "The average millionaire has at least seven income sources, and billionaires have even more complex systems in place to stay ahead." Reject the myth of mastering just one skill. Expand your expertise, explore new opportunities, and secure additional income streams.
3. take the leap and learn from career-defining moments
Planning is crucial but it means nothing if you don’t take action.
Ironically, success often comes long after the leap. For Carolin, it took nearly a decade of building before things clicked. "Nine years in, challenges felt easier, and I knew exactly where to focus," she recalls.
Here are the key lessons she learned along the way:
sort your finances early: Start keeping track of your expenses at the beginning of your career. With this out of the way, it will be easier to bring more financial plans to life
build a solid financial foundation by tracking every idea and expense. Even if a plan falters, mastering budgeting basics and reviewing your records paves the way for growth.
create a roadmap: If you shelve an idea, document it clearly so you can pick it up later.
success is a marathon, not a sprint: Longevity matters more than social media highlights. As Carolin puts it: "Most people who stress you with their shiny stories early on won’t make it to year three."
prioritize a safe space: A stable home, strong friendships, and a nurturing environment help you recharge. Protect these at all costs.
4. mentorship comes from the support system you build
Finding a mentor is often emphasized in career growth, but it’s not always about having a single guiding figure. Carolin never had a traditional mentor; instead, she found support in her network. "My people and business partner network is actually my kind of mentoring program," she says.
Networking goes beyond collecting contacts; it's about building real relationships that support your growth. "I love keeping those around me who are ambitious and open to creating win-win situations," she explains. Over time, she learned to filter out shallow connections and focus on those who truly contributed to her growth.
Instead of searching for a perfect mentor, surround yourself with like-minded individuals who push each other to new heights through collaboration, shared learning, and networking.
5. building and growing your team is essential
Carolin believes success is tied to how well you build and support those around you. She fosters team growth using her "ping pong method," where she provides initial insights but allows individuals to take ownership. "Everybody gets a personal intro or a first call where I offer insights, but after that, the next step is theirs. Once they return with a task done, we move forward."
This method keeps motivation high and distinguishes those truly committed from those who only appear capable on paper. "People are often slow in processing new insights or get distracted. With my step-by-step approach, I make sure we stay aligned and work efficiently."
Carolin emphasizes that leadership isn’t about rank but readiness. "As a former Executive Assistant, I’ve seen how leadership egos can destroy companies. Real growth happens when everyone understands the foundation before aiming for the top." A strong team is an essential asset. The people you build with are as important as your goals.
6. a leadership mindset is non-negotiable
A leadership mindset isn’t about titles—it’s about perseverance, adaptability, and knowing when to stand your ground. Carolin highlights three pillars that help develop this mindset:
master your interests: "Find a field that interests you and develop various skills in that industry." This will be a good foundation for more growth to happen. Carolin notes that women often drop out of male-dominated fields like IT mid-career, but mastery significantly reduces this risk.
resilience in setbacks: "Not a single life or career is an easy walk. The rollercoaster ride is even crazier when the responsibility for a company rests on your shoulders." Setbacks are phases, not roadblocks.
balance loyalty and boundaries: "Do your best, work conscientiously, and stand up for your rights. If someone tries to take advantage of you, keep your freedom to leave." Your career is yours to build, not anyone else’s.
7. ignore the noise and walk your own path
The world is loud—hype often outweighs substance, and appearances seem more valued than actual work. But real career growth is rooted in humility, skill, and lifelong learning. Carolin explains that growth isn’t always "sexy and Instagrammable," but a solid foundation lasts longer.
She stresses that consistency is key. Progress may feel slow, but steady effort leads to success. Looking back, she wishes someone had told her: "Only take advice from those who have walked the path and share transparent insights."
At the end of the day, the grass may seem greener elsewhere, but real success comes from focusing on your own path, tuning out distractions, and staying true to yourself.
about Carolin Desirée Toepfer
Carolin is the Founder and CEO of Cyttraction, a cybersecurity EdTech company that creates interactive learning experiences to improve security awareness for businesses.
She has a background in political science, economics, and engineering and has led initiatives in cybersecurity, digital strategy, and business growth. Before launching Cyttraction, she worked with Germany’s biggest venture builder and led programs supporting diverse tech entrepreneurs. Beyond cybersecurity, Carolin is passionate about closing the digital skills gap and making tech education more accessible globally.
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